"Ad Astra Per Aspera Et Terram" (To the stars through difficulties and dirt)
Base: Bunker 42, Sector 7G | Comm-Link: 555-WORM | Net-Mail: director@subastro.edu
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Department of Subterranean Astrophysics "Ad Astra Per Aspera Et Terram" (To the stars through difficulties and dirt) Base: Bunker 42, Sector 7G | Comm-Link: 555-WORM | Net-Mail: director@subastro.edu |
While Dr. Vance and Dr. Thorne conduct the highly sensitive, neutrino-bombardment experiments deep within the lead-lined safety of Bunker 42, someone has to actually go outside and dig up the worms. That someone is Timmy.
Timmy is Dr. Thorne's teenage son. Due to a series of severe budget cuts by the university's oversight committee (who still believe we are running a rogue bait-shop), we could not afford to hire a professional surface excavation team. Thus, Timmy was drafted in the name of science during his summer vacation of '76. He is officially designated as the 'Chief Surface Biome Extraction Specialist,' though he prefers to be called 'unpaid labor.'
Timmy's primary task involves wandering the dusty fields above the bunker, armed only with an uncalibrated steel shovel and a mason jar. His job is surprisingly dangerous. Because the soil directly above our tachyon-emitters is heavily irradiated with localized Wormyons, the dirt occasionally glows in the dark, and the worms he collects often vibrate at frequencies that can shatter cheap sunglasses. Timmy has repeatedly requested hazard pay, or at least a new Grateful Dead t-shirt, but unfortunately, all department funds are currently tied up in purchasing more car batteries for the microwave.
Despite his chronic boredom and frequent complaints about missing the local roller disco, Timmy's contributions are invaluable. Without the steady supply of fresh, surface-dwelling Lumbricus terrestris that he provides in his glowing jars, our entire quantum-aeration project would grind to a halt. We salute you, Timmy.
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